Looking Forward

To begin, I'd like to update you on the progress of baby things accomplished & the nursery... because I am so proud.

My mom and I finished the little guy's blanket a few weeks ago.  In the meantime we have also finished the crib blanket, that matches the curtains, but I haven't gotten a picture of it yet.

 I was kinda going stir crazy wanting to get the nursery moved around and the office stuff moved downstairs like we had planned.  But, with Briant recovering from surgery and unable to lift heavy stuff (and needing to take it easy), this was proving to be impossible by myself.  Thanks to some close family and friends I was able to cross that off my list.  THANK YOU!!!

I made a car seat blanket, which isn't perfect, but I love!!!

And last, but not least, here is JR's progress.

I am now currently 34 weeks (I don't see much of a difference)... so

 ONLY 6 WEEKS LEFT TO GO!!!

Celebrating Mother's Day always gets me thinking about the future.  Especially with our little guy so close to being here I think even more.  

It is very common for the story of the Strippling Warriors in the Book of Mormon to be read on Mother's Day.  2,000 Young Men go to battle to fight when their enemies attack them, because their father's had made a promise with God to never fight again.  These very young men chose to defend their country.  They were brave, valiant, honest, trustworthy & they kept the commandments of God.  Even though they had never before fought in battle they were not afraid because their Mother's had taught them to have faith and if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.  At the end of the battle, not one of those brave warriors had been killed. All because those boys didn't doubt that their mothers knew and had taught them to have faith in God.

It really is a remarkable story.  One of the speakers in church this past Sunday spoke of his wife and her ability to know her children well.  She knew each of their schedules & their needs.  She knew when they were happy but she also knew when they would need a shoulder to cry on. 

I began to think of my mother.  She knew us too.  Some of my most fond memories are in the arms of my mom when I just needed to cuddle up and feel loved for a while.  She always knew how to listen and to tell me just what I needed to hear... she still does.  I know she loves me, and I am grateful for her and all she has done for me.

There are others who have played that role of a mother for me too.  Some of them had children of their own, others didn't have children at all.  Some where teachers whom I only saw at school or at church and some where actually my peers.  I worked with many people who gave me love and taught me many things.  But each of them played a part of nurturing, teaching, and loving in my life.  I don't think you have to have children to know how to be a mother, or use those instincts that come with being a women.

I've been reading this little book that my mom just gave me:

As many of you know, Sheri Dew isn't married and doesn't have her own children.  

She talks in the book about how motherhood is divine, eternal, in our core & is the true nature of every women.  It becomes more clear why Satan wants to confuse our roles when  you understand the magnitude of motherhood.  She also says, "The Lord does nothing with a  short-range view.  Everything He does is for forever.  Thus.... our motherhood began before we were born."

I love the picture on the front because, how many of us had dolls when we were little.  How many of us practiced at that young age to nurture and love.  It just goes to show that even the smallest girls have the instincts of motherhood.  We were at a Special Needs Social yesterday and one of those ladies was carrying around a little doll.  Even those with disabilities want to nurture.

I know I have these motherly instincts too... and have had them for as long as I could remember.  I love to hold babies, I love to sing to them, I love to put them to sleep.  These instincts don't just happen by chance.

My heart hurts for those who want children of their own and are unable for one reason or another to do so at this time.  I've wanted this baby that I carry for so long.  In fact, long before I was married.  I wanted one to hold in my arms, to teach, to love.  I really still don't have a "career plan" because all I've every thought of for my life's plan was to be a mother.  

How grateful I am for the opportunities that have been placed before me.  Throughout this whole pregnancy I have worried about everything.  As of late, I worry when I don't feel him move very much in a day or even a few hours.  I think I worry because I want him so badly, I'll do anything... make any sacrifice to make sure I get to see him healthy, whole and happy.

I hope that I can be that mom that I've always wanted to be.  I want to teach my children what is right.  I want to teach them of their Divine heritage.  I want to instill in them values and integrity.  I want them to help others and look for people to serve.  I want them to love nature and being outside.  I pray that I won't let the opportunities to teach them slip from me, and that I won't be lazy.  For now, I'm looking forward to my true destiny... of being a mother.